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Tuesday, August 22nd, 2000
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3:02 am - The Painful Goodbye
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Hello cruel world. Here I am. A new LiveJournal user. What to say? What to do? If anyone is reading this, talk to me. Please. Just a few words. Reply. I just want to know there's someone there. I may seem a little desperate, because I am. Talk to me. That's all I ask. I'm not a necessarily bad person. I don't think so, anyway. I try not to be. It's just that this world has a way of twisting you, giving you lose\lose situations. What can I do? I had a friend,{Had is the key word here,}who I just couldn't talk to anymore. I used to...well, lets just say I had strong feelings for her. But we were very different people and after a while, we grew apart. I just didn't like her anymore. So I stopped talking to her. Bad decision, I know. But this friend was persistant. We used to be the greatest friends. So I did something else to break it off. It was no use. I even said I didn't want to be around, didn't want to talk to her. But she wouldn't let me go. We used to be such great friends that to end it now would devestate her. So I did something to just break it off once and for all. I faked angry. I called her names, I swore...I don't even know what all I said. But it got rid of her. In the worst kind of way. A lot of her friends are very good friends of mine. Now I look like an asshole. And why shouldn't I? I was an asshole. But it seemed the only thing to do. She just wouldn't leave me be. Maybe I should have just pretended to still like her, but it's not just that. It's that...I had very intense feelings for her. Every time I talked to her, it hurt. It didn't used to. Why now? Now, more than ever, I should feel less for her. I'm not trying to imply that I still have those feelings. But it's just...I'm rambling. I shouldn't do that. I guess I'll go. If you have any suggestions, or just want to reply to what I said, go for it. Say whatever, don't spare my feelings. Was I wrong for what I did to this friend? Help me out.
-Nightmare
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